Monday, November 29, 2010

Converse this... Bear Grylls


BEAR GRYLLS: Why Hello viewers... welcome to my dinner party. I'm the only one at this dinner party because I am the only one invited because only I am so deliciously EXTREME and can handle the awesomeness of having a dinner party above the clouds. I'm having a little trouble breathing but i'll be alright, i always am. So how did i think of such an amazing dinner party location you ask? Probably my inabillity to be anything other then awesome. Now, I need to teach you how to survive a dinner party above the skys, firstly, wear your parachutes, it might seem like common sense, but you will be surprised by the amount of people who have tried to have a dinner party in the sky and forgotten their parachutes and fall to a squishy end. Do you know what, lets just make this a general life rule, because who knows when you might accidently fall into a canyon, or off the edge of a building, and need to be able to float to safety. LETS BE SAFE PEOPLE. Ok, so now my second rule, its probably a bad idea to drink at a dinner party above the clouds. I know i know, we all like a nice glass of champagne, but drinking and extreme elevation never do mix. In fact this champagne is going straight to my head, I may even topple of my seat, BUT ITS OK, i have my parachute, my trusty trusty parachute. Now rule number three.... as you may notice, if you happened to get trapped at your dinner party in the sky, and run out of food, there isn't much to eat up here using your survival techniques, unless you can eat clouds, but im pretty sure they are just made up of water, so basically your only option is to jump, which brings us back to the parachute..... its awesome...... wear one. I'm so lonely.

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